A Question I Couldn't Answer
Some answers can't be forced
August 10
No work?
Check.
No Shin?
Check.
Today, Orion and I were finally going to relax.
I've been so busy lately that I still haven't had the chance to properly look around my own apartment.
If it's not Shin...
It's work.
If it's not work...
It's Shin.
So today was finally the day to explore the house!
...
Ding dong.
...
Again?
Who is it this time?
Orion and I both thought it would be Shin.
Instead...
It was Toma.
Just as I opened the door, Shin arrived too.
Toma looked surprised for a split second.
...
Wait.
Why does Shin look surprised too?
Then yesterday's conversation with the owner suddenly came back to me.
The love triangle.
We're all childhood friends.
...
There's no way Shin doesn't know that I confessed to Toma when we were kids.
OH MY GOD.
SHIN.
It's not what you're thinking!
If you think I'm cheating on you...
I'M NOT!
I may have amnesia...
But I swear I'm not that kind of person!
...
Before I could spiral any further, Toma asked Shin a few questions.
Then Toma said he'd leave.
But...
Shin also said he'd leave.
Leaving me alone with Toma.
...
Shin.
That's not how this works.
Now it's just awkward.
Orion tilted his head in confusion.
He couldn't understand why the three of us couldn't just hang out together.
...
Orion...
My child.
You're about a hundred years away from understanding romance.
In the end...
I spent the day with Shin.
By the time we got back, the sun was already setting.
Then, without warning, Shin said he was going home.
...
Just like that?
I must've looked confused because he suddenly asked me something.
"Are you sure I'm really your boyfriend?"
...
Then he asked how I felt about him.
What's gotten into him today?
He quietly admitted...
He didn't want me to start treating him like a younger brother again.
...
Poor Shin.
That must've taken a lot for him to say.
We've known each other since we were kids.
And maybe...
The old me spent years treating him like a little brother before we finally started dating.
I can't imagine how much courage it took for him to confess after all that.
Now...
He's standing in front of someone who remembers none of it.
I didn't know what to say.
I don't know how the old me felt.
I don't know what kind of answer she would've given him.
Then...
He asked me out.
...
I told him...
I needed more time.
This...
Isn't the right time.
I think...
He already knew that.
It's not because I don't take him seriously.
Actually...
I do.
He's a really good person.
But until I get my memories back...
I don't think it's fair to give him an answer.
Not yet.